Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Lies Damned Lies And Bottoms

It's wet but not that wet. However the weather forecast is so doom and gloom that I take the car rather than bike. There are plenty of cyclists about but I'm not jealous yet, at least not until it fines up later.

Heavy rain mid morning but then it does clear up. It seems I've been conned by an overzealous weather forecast again. As L says it won't be long before the forecasters start advising us to not to leave our homes when it rains. Gales? Where? Lies damned lies.

Talking of lies, today's crap survey 'informs' us that men tell five lies a day and women tell three but obviously the research is flawed because the women would have been lying when they gave their responses.

'Nothing's wrong, I'm fine', is apparently the most common fib. Never used that one myself. I'm always fine even when I'm not.

Old clichés die hard because also in the top ten was the classic 'Does my bottom look big in this?'. The answer of course is, 'No Dear, of course it doesn't'.

Now women might think their men are lying when they say that but in reality they're probably not because a woman’s idea of what constitutes big is totally different from a man's. Most men like a nice rear on their partner but you can't really get away with saying 'Phoarr, yes it does'.

L's always 'working' on hers and tonight is no exception. She's at another BTT class (not to be confused with BLT, which is sandwich). She said we didn't have to meet her but said she would be happy to see us if we did. I would hate to upset her, she might stop wearing those shorts and I need a run but that bloody furry thing (the dog) puts me off. I don’t fancy the pond because after the rain it'll be like a swamp and it would be hell trying to do a reasonable distance with him on the road but...

Somehow I get my unenthusiastic dog into his running jacket and we squelch our way around the pond. Then just as he's turned for home, I get my own back and divert our route up Ilkeston Road.

We are ten minutes early at the leisure centre so just to annoy Doggo I continue up the hill to the edge of town and back. When we arrive there's a right selection of young girlies crawling out of the leisure centre, all red faces and heaving chests. I thought it was supposed to bums, tums, and thighs they were working on. Looks more like they've all done Boxercise with Joe Calzaghe. Several are vowing to go home and put all the calories they have expended straight back on. By comparison L practically skips out, and she's done an hour of gym first, she can clearly show these youngsters a thing or two.

I do curry tonight and try the kids out on paneer, which seems to go down ok. Regrettably I don't get to listen to tonight's cup replay as the game has been called off.

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