Monday, 7 January 2008

You Can't Beat A Bit Of Pollock

It's a nice bleak morning but for once I’m pleased that I’m not cycling, the wind sounds evil.

Once at work, for my sins, I do the online entry for the Derby 10k for both L and me.

The Chinese, who cut seven minutes out of 'Lust, Caution', have been horrified to find out that their countrymen have been downloading the missing bits off the internet. This has caused them to issue the following hilarious warning against imitating any of the scenes from the film:-

“Highly difficult sexual positions can cause unnecessary harm to both the male and female body and, hence, people should not be imitating what they see on the big screen. Most of the sexual manoeuvres in Lust, Caution are abnormal body positions. Only women with comparatively flexible bodies that have gymnastics or yoga experience are able to perform them. For average people to blindly copy them could lead to unnecessary physical harm.”

So, don't try this at home.

L meanwhile tells me she already wants the DVD, I assume, because of the gripping plot.

Back to school for everyone today even Doggo. Our first agility training of the year goes well. As usual on the way home we collect L, who's been doing a yoga, which will no doubt please the Chinese authorities.

L cooks something called Pollock for tea, which sounds like one of our 'pet' names for Doggo but is in fact a fish. Very nice it is too.

We then watch the second episode of Sense And Sensibility, that we videoed. It is far too romantic for it's own good and therefore not as good as part one.

Then it's bed but L's feeling a bit under the weather and has a sore throat, so she makes it clear they'll be no frivolity tonight, even kissing is outlawed in case she passes on her germs. So I settle down for half an hour with the newspaper, after which I put the light out and doze pleasantly, enjoying a dream about cycling through six foot high snowdrifts.

So it's all comes as a bit of a shock when I am rudely awoken and subjected to the Shanghai experience. Honestly you just don't know where you stand with women. I can hazard a guess about what she was dreaming about or maybe it's something to do with the Pollock. We'll have to have that again.

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